B.J.: EXPEL MELVIN LITTLE!!!

Five Reasons why, for the Good of the Children of this Country, Melvin Little Should be Thrown Out of the Socialist Party*

By B.J. Eversole

1. He sets a bad example: He smokes like a chimney; regularly dyes his hair blue; and has been known to drink wine coolers just to "keep a buzz" and then demand to drive on a major interstate. My god, Melvin, think of the children!

2. He lives in the past: he refuses to admit that the Mod Era is over, and dresses accordingly. He also makes numerous references to long-forgotten music and movies, confusing his fellow comrades. He is also obsessed with the British Labo(u)r Party of that era. Come on Melvin; come join us in the 21st Century!

3. He's Un-American: He can't get through a conversation about ANYTHING without either mentioning the aforementioned Old Labo(u)r or the New Democratic Party of Canada. Hey Melvin, this is America, love it or leave it!

4. Whenever he sends one email, he sends 17. He sends emails to every list imaginable. I have had to, on occasion; spend a good three hours one message after another defending the history of the Clement Atlee's post-war Labo(u)r government.

5. And finally, he regularly "crosses the line", especially when speaking of his archenemy, Eric Chester. No wonder the Grassroots Tendency has a bounty on his head.

For these reasons, and many more, Melvin Little should be purged from the Socialist Party forever. We can't have the future socialists of this country emulating such antisocial behavio(u)r (another thing, what's up with the King's English? Stop putting unnecessary u's in your words!).

*Of course, this is all a joke, I am currently watching a roast on TV, and so I got inspired. Melvin's my comrade and friend, and I want nothing more than for him so stay in the party for a long time. [1]

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B.J. Eversole

Treasurer and Webmaster, Socialist Party of North Carolina
Convener, SPUSA Labor Commission
Webmaster, Socialist Party USA
Dead last in votes for National Committee